By Georgie Hunter, Head of Pre-Prep and EYFS | Highfield and Brookham School

Something has shifted. Over the past few years, those of us working in early years education have noticed a change in the children arriving on that very first day of Reception. Not in their enthusiasm, that spark is as bright as ever, but in their school readiness. And I don’t mean academically. I mean in the small, practical, everyday things that make school life work.

I want to be clear: this is not a criticism of parents. Not even close. Modern family life is genuinely hard. Parents are time-poor, schedules are relentless, and the juggle between work and home is very real. But the cumulative effect of those small, well-intentioned shortcuts is showing up in our classrooms in ways worth talking about honestly, because there is so much you can do about it this summer.

The Morning Rush and Why It Matters More Than You Think

Picture the scene: it is 8.15am. You have three minutes before you need to be out the door. Your child is standing in the hallway with their shoes on the wrong feet, three buttons undone, and a coat that might as well be a puzzle. So, you step in. Of course you do. It takes you ten seconds; it would take them four minutes. And so it goes, day after day.

The problem is that those four minutes, however excruciating in the moment, are exactly where independence is built. When children arrive at school and need to change for PE, remove their coat at the door, or put their bag away, many are discovering for the first time that these things are expected of them. Buttons, buckles, zips, laces: tasks that feel trivial to us require real fine motor skill and practice.

Every minute a teacher spends helping a child into their PE kit is a minute not spent teaching. Multiply that across a class full of children  and you begin to see the picture. The most powerful thing you can do is give your child the gift of time: time to struggle, to try, to get it wrong, and to get it right.

Building Independence: The “Pack Horse” Problem

How many of us have made the walk from front door to car laden like a pack horse, coffee in one hand, keys clenched in teeth, a bag dangling from each elbow, determined to do it in one trip? Meanwhile, your perfectly capable three-year-old trots alongside you, carrying nothing.

From the moment children start walking, they can carry things. A favourite teddy. A water bottle. Their own bag. Preschoolers are not only capable of taking their bag to the car, but they also genuinely love to. Children thrive on responsibility. It makes them feel trusted, capable, and grown-up. So let them. Hand over their bag in the morning. Ask them to put their shoes in their room. Let them carry the light shopping in from the car. These small acts of contribution build a sense of self-reliance that follows them right into the classroom.

Screens: From Lifeline to Long-Term Habit

Before the pandemic, many households had firm rules around screens. Devices were limited, carefully monitored, sometimes locked away entirely. Then the world shut down, and everything changed.

Suddenly, a screen was how you saw your parents, how your newborn met their grandparents, how your toddler attended birthday parties. FaceTiming granny wasn’t just permitted, it was encouraged. Online learning normalised hours in front of a screen as a reasonable, even admirable activity.

Those habits, understandably formed in crisis, have in many cases remained. And the research is increasingly clear about the impact: excessive screen time in the early years can affect attention span, language development, and the ability to sit still, listen, and focus, the very foundations of learning. Children who have spent long periods passively consuming content may find the active, social, unpredictable world of the classroom more challenging to navigate.

Screens are not the enemy. But they need to be intentional. Watch together. Talk about what you have seen. Use a programme as a springboard for an activity, a walk, a conversation. The richness of language a child absorbs from books, from talking, from play, from the world around them is irreplaceable.

Watch Your Words: Language Shapes Experience

“When do you start big school?” It is one of the most common questions children are asked in the months before September. We have all said it. I have said it. But the word “big” is doing quiet, unhelpful work in the background.

Think about the last time someone told you about a “big” meeting, a “big” moment, a “big” decision. There is an anxiety baked into that word, something vast, unknown, and hard to prepare for. For a four-year-old, it can plant a seed of apprehension before there is anything to be apprehensive about.

Try “new school” instead. Or simply “your school.” Read books together that tell positive stories about starting school. Follow your child’s lead in conversation: if they voice a worry, take it seriously and give honest, calm reassurance. If they seem excited, match that energy. The narrative you build around this milestone genuinely shapes how they experience it.

The Power of No

No is a small word with enormous importance. And many children arriving in Reception haven’t heard it very often. This is not a parenting failing, it comes from love, from wanting to make your child happy, from being exhausted at the end of a long day and simply not having the bandwidth for the battle.

But children who have clear, consistent boundaries at home arrive at school better equipped to handle the inevitable rules of the classroom: you can’t always have what you want when you want it; you wait your turn; you listen even when you’d rather not. Children don’t love us less for saying no, often they love us more, because boundaries signal safety. Decide on your family rules this summer and hold them kindly but firmly.

Of course, boundaries won’t look exactly the same in every family, and some children may need different approaches or additional support. What matters is that expectations are clear and consistent, helping children understand what is expected of them.

Ten Things to Try This Summer

With July and August ahead of you, there is plenty of time to build brilliant foundations. Here are ten practical things you can start today:

1. Independent dressing every day. Let them do it themselves: buttons, zips, shoes. Time it like a game. Celebrate the wins and share the struggles together. Build this into the morning routine now so it is established well before September.
2. Give them things to carry. Their bag to the car, washing to the basket, toys back to their room. Assign one small responsibility per day. Children who feel trusted feel capable, and capable children thrive at school.
3. Make screen time purposeful. Watch together, talk about what you have seen, and use it as a jumping-off point for an activity. If your child watches a programme about animals, visit a farm or draw pictures afterwards. Quality and conversation matter far more than quantity.
4. Choose your language with care. Drop “big school” in favour of “your school” or “new school.” Visit the library and pick up a few books with positive school stories. Let your child see you excited, your feelings are contagious.
5. Establish family rules and keep them. Decide on a few clear, reasonable expectations around bedtime, mealtimes, manners, and screen use. Children who understand that rules apply to everyone feel safer and settle into school expectations far more quickly. Find out your school’s rules before September. Long hair tied back? Get ahead of any practicalities now so there are no surprises on the first day.
6. Practise taking turns. Play turn– taking–games such as rolling a ball or a simple board game. Model sharing language, “can I have a turn?” This will help develop their listening skills as well as their ability to share.
7. Read together every single day. Bedtime stories are one of the greatest gifts you can give a child. Turning pages, following a storyline, learning that reading is something you do together and for pleasure: this is the bedrock of literacy. It also builds vocabulary in a way no screen can match.
8. Practise separation gently. Short stretches with grandparents, a trusted friend, or a playdate without you helps children become comfortable with the idea that you go and you always come back. This single piece of knowledge makes the school drop-off so much easier.
9. Create a scrapbook of their world. Gather photos of the people, places, and things that matter most to them over the summer. This becomes a wonderful conversation starter with their new teacher and classmates, a little piece of home that helps them feel known from day one.
10. Help them learn to recognise their name. It will be on their peg, their table, their books, and their tray. Start with the first letter, then build from there. And make sure all their labels say exactly the name they will be known by at school: if they are Charlie, don’t label everything Charles.

You Have More Time Than You Think

Starting school is not a leap off a cliff. It is a gentle slope that you walk together, over many months. The families who arrive in September having worked on some of these small things over the summer always find the transition smoother, not because their children are perfect, but because they feel ready. And the drop-off, when it comes? Keep it warm, keep it brief, and walk away smiling. You have prepared them well. They are more ready than you know!