By Georgie Hunter, Head of Pre-Prep and EYFS

By the time the summer holidays arrive, many parents are ready to collapse.

The school run stops, the packed lunches disappear, the uniform can finally stay in the drawer, and for a moment there is a wonderful sense of calm. Then, quite quickly, another feeling creeps in.

What on earth are we going to do with all this time?

There can be a real pressure around the summer holidays. A pressure to fill them, to make them memorable, to keep children busy, happy, entertained and somehow still ready for September. Parents often feel they need a plan for every day, a trip for every week and a constant supply of activities for the inevitable moment someone says, “I’m bored!”

But I wonder whether we sometimes make the summer more complicated than it needs to be. This is one of the best opportunities we have to help children become more independent.

I’m not talking about huge milestones. Nobody is expecting a four-year-old to manage the family calendar or a six-year-old to pack for a week away without help. I’m talking about the small, everyday moments of independence that come from having the chance to do things for themselves.

Rather than thinking about the summer as something to survive, think of it as something that progresses. Children develop independence gradually through repeated opportunities to practise. As their confidence grows, so does the level of responsibility we can give them. The ideas here are designed to build on one another, allowing you to step back a little more each week as your child steps forward.

If you set a goal for the holidays, make it about attitude rather than achievement. Learning to ride a bike or becoming more confident with phonics are wonderful outcomes, but the real success is raising a child who’s willing to keep trying, even when something feels difficult.

Create a summer holiday routine

Children thrive on knowing what comes next. That doesn’t mean recreating the school day, but it does mean giving the holidays a gentle rhythm.

Keep mealtimes fairly predictable, make reading part of every day and spend as much time outside as you can. For younger children, a simple visual calendar can help enormously here. When children can see what the day or week holds, whether that’s a trip to the library or simply a morning in the garden, the unpredictability of the holidays feels a little less overwhelming. They’re not having to ask “what are we doing today?” because they can already see the answer for themselves.

At the beginning of the holidays, involve your child in the planning. Ask them what they’d like to do and make a list together. It might include building a den, making playdough, baking, hunting for minibeasts or visiting a local nature reserve. They don’t all have to happen, but giving children a voice from the beginning helps them feel invested.

This is also a good time to introduce one small responsibility that continues throughout the holidays. Watering the plants each morning, laying the table for dinner or feeding the family pet may seem like small jobs, but they help children see themselves as capable contributors. It’s the same role they’ll step into at school in September, where they’re expected to manage their own belongings and follow a daily routine.

Let your child lead the way

As parents, it’s easy to feel we need a different activity every day. Yet some of the richest learning comes from giving children the time to stay with one idea, returning to it over several days and deepening their understanding as they go.

Perhaps a visit to the library sparks an interest in dinosaurs. Rather than looking for something new the next day, let that interest become the project. Your child might decide to build a dinosaur world from cardboard boxes, create different habitats in the garden or make signs with the names of the dinosaurs they’ve discovered. Maybe a ladybird in the flowerbed becomes the start of a bug hotel, or a fairy house built from sticks gradually grows into an entire village.

Children don’t think in one-day activities. They like returning to something, improving it and adding to it.

The same is true of junk modelling. One cardboard box quickly becomes a rocket, then a control panel, then somewhere for astronauts to sleep. The project develops because children are leading it, not because we have planned the next step.

Why letting children struggle builds independence

As the holidays go on, one of the biggest changes isn’t in your child, it’s in you.

At first, you’ll naturally do everything together. You’ll help gather the cardboard boxes, measure the ingredients for the playdough or collect the sticks for the fairy house.

Gradually, try doing a little less. One simple habit to encourage over the summer is “have a go before asking for help.”

Set everything up together, then give your child some time to continue without you. You might simply say, “I’m just going to put the washing away. I’ll come back in ten minutes to see what you’ve done.” Using a timer as a visual tool can work brilliantly because children know you’ll be back and can see how long they have. It creates just enough space for them to think and solve small problems for themselves before asking for help.

The same applies when something doesn’t go to plan. If the tower they built falls down or the bug hotel won’t stay together, resist fixing it straight away. Give your child time to wonder, experiment and try again. Those small frustrations are often where the biggest learning happens.

And boredom is no different. The next time you hear, “I’m bored,” try resisting the urge to immediately offer another activity. Boredom isn’t something to fear. More often than not, it’s the gateway to creativity. It encourages children to solve problems for themselves and develop a greater sense of self-sufficiency.

When they do keep going, notice the effort rather than the outcome. “You didn’t give up,” or “I noticed you tried a different way,” will do far more to build resilience than “Well done, that’s perfect.”

Hand over age-appropriate responsibilities

By the middle of the holidays, you’ll probably notice your child asking for a little less help than they did at the beginning.

This is the perfect time to trust them with a little more.

Hold a simple family meeting at the beginning of the week and ask what job they’d like to take responsibility for. It could be making their bed, setting the table or checking everyone has a water bottle before you leave the house.

You can also encourage them to take more ownership of their projects. Instead of suggesting what comes next, ask, “What do you think it needs?” or “What would you like to add?”

Children love feeling trusted, and it’s often those everyday responsibilities that prepare them best for school.

Playdates and preparing for school

While we’re encouraging children to become more independent, it’s important to remember that they’re also learning how to be part of a community.

Several weeks is a long time not to see the friends they spend every day with during term time, so don’t underestimate the value of a simple playdate, a trip to the park or an afternoon spent building dens together. These moments give children opportunities to share ideas, solve disagreements, negotiate rules and build relationships, all without it feeling like learning.

If your child is starting school in September, or returning after a long break, try not to let school disappear completely over the holidays. Going completely “cold turkey” can make the return feel much bigger than it needs to. Instead, keep school gently familiar. Walk past if you’re nearby, visit the playground if it’s open, borrow books about starting school from the library or arrange to meet a future classmate. Small, positive reminders throughout the summer often do far more than one big conversation the week before term starts.

Model confidence as a parent

One of the lovely things about the summer holidays is that they give families permission to try something different.

If you’re naturally sporty, you’ll probably find it easy to organise games in the garden or head off on bike rides. If you’re creative, you’ll instinctively reach for the paint, glue and cardboard boxes. This might be the summer to stretch yourself a little too.

Perhaps you’ll build something from recycling for the first time, explore a woodland you’ve never visited or spend an afternoon looking for wildlife together. Children learn just as much from watching adults have a go as they do from our successes. They see us trying something unfamiliar, making mistakes and persevering, and that’s a powerful lesson in itself. Every new experience is also an opportunity to introduce responsibility. Before climbing a fallen tree, talk about how to check it’s safe. Before baking together, explain why we wash our hands or carry equipment carefully. Independence and responsibility grow together, and children learn both best when they’re modelled in everyday life.

Signs of a more independent child

Before the holidays come to an end, take a moment to notice what’s changed.

You might realise your child is asking for less help than they did a few weeks ago. They might spend longer on a project before coming to find you, happily get on with watering the garden each morning or solve a problem that, at the beginning of the summer, they would have immediately asked you to fix.

The summer doesn’t have to end with a child who has learnt to ride a bike or finished every page of a phonics book. If they finish the holidays a little more confident, a little more independent and a little more willing to have a go, then you’ve used this time incredibly well.